How to Set Boundaries at Work That Actually Hold - And What to Do When They Don’t!

A Guide for Working Parents: Overcoming Exhaustion and Overload

Many working parents come to me saying the same thing:

“I’m overwhelmed. I have too much work. I can’t keep up.”

After coaching numerous parents through burnout, overload, and career confusion, here’s the truth:

You don’t have a workload problem. You have a boundary problem.

Sometimes, even strong boundaries won’t fix a job that no longer fits who you are today.

Understanding Boundaries at Work

A boundary isn’t a barrier or a confrontation. It’s a clear, confident line that protects your:

• Time

• Wellbeing

• Energy

• Capacity

• Life outside of work

Boundaries don’t restrict your career. They protect it.

Signs You Need Boundaries at Work

You need boundaries when you:

• Feel responsible for tasks that aren’t yours

• Are the “go-to” for everything

• Regularly work late to catch up

• Say yes before you think

• Feel guilty leaving on time

• Are firefighting instead of working strategically

• Feel resentment building

If you recognise yourself in these signs, your boundary system is breaking down.

The Three Boundaries Every Working Parent Needs

1. Time Boundaries

Protect your working hours and personal life. Examples include:

• “I finish at 5pm.”

• “I don’t check emails after 6pm.”

• “My first meeting is at 9:30am.”

Time boundaries create structure. Without them, work will fill every available space.

2. Workload Boundaries

Protect your capacity and prevent overwhelm. Examples include:

• “I can’t take that on - my plate’s full.”

• “If I do this, which task should I deprioritise?”

• “That sits outside my remit.”

Workload boundaries stop you from becoming the office safety net.

3. Emotional Boundaries

Protect your mental load and prevent burnout. Examples include:

• “That sounds stressful. How would you like to approach it?”

• “Here’s what I can realistically do today.”

Emotional boundaries stop you from absorbing stress that doesn’t belong to you.

How Work Boundaries Break (And Why You Don’t Notice)

Most boundaries fail in one of three ways:

Mistake 1: Over-explaining

The more you justify, the weaker your boundary sounds.

Mistake 2: Apologising

You’re allowed to have needs. You’re allowed to have limits.

Mistake 3: Saying Yes Immediately

A pause protects you. “Let me check my capacity” is a power move.

The BRACE Framework: How to Set Boundaries at Work Without Guilt

This is the structure I use with clients who want clear, confident boundaries that hold up even under pressure.

B — Be Brief

One sentence. No life story.

R — Be Reasonable

A simple explanation is enough. “I can’t take that on right now.”

A — Offer an Alternative (optional)

Only if you genuinely want to.

C — Be Clear

No “maybe”, “I’ll try”, or “if that’s okay”.

E — Exit

End the conversation. No need to linger or apologise.

Boundaries are a skill. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes.

If you're reading this and realising you’d love some practical guidance; scripts, worksheets, and a clear framework to help you put these boundaries into action, my Setting Boundaries Workbook will walk you through it step by step. You can download it here:

Maintaining Your Boundaries at Work

This is where many working parents struggle, especially after maternity leave or significant life changes. Here’s what helps:

1. Expect Pushback

It’s normal. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

2. Hold the Line

A boundary that shifts isn’t a boundary; it’s a suggestion.

3. Allow the Guilt to Exist

Guilt is a feeling, not a fact. You’re not doing anything wrong.

4. Communicate Early and Clearly

Reduce ambiguity, and people will respect your limits.

5. Don’t Apologise

You’re allowed to need things.

Understanding What to Protect with Your Boundaries

These tools help working parents not only set boundaries but also understand why they need them.

1. Values Clarification

Understand your values! They change throughout life, so revisit them often to ensure they are still true to you. Boundaries become easier when you know what matters most.

2. Load Mapping

Creating an image of your entire emotional, mental, and practical load is often game-changing.

3. Identity Shift Coaching

Parenthood changes you, and your career needs to reflect that. When was the last time you thought about whether your old role still fits the new you?

4. Career Fit Assessment

Sometimes boundaries break because the role is fundamentally misaligned.

The Hardest Part: When Boundaries at Work Aren’t Enough

I see this often: A parent sets healthy boundaries, holds them consistently, and communicates clearly. Yet, they still feel:

• Overwhelmed

• Undervalued

• Stuck

• Misaligned

• Exhausted

• Unseen

• Guilty

• Like they’re forcing themselves into a life that no longer fits

When this happens, the problem isn’t the boundary. It’s the job.

After maternity leave, after burnout, after growth, you are not the same person you were before. Sometimes, the role that once fit perfectly no longer fits the life you’re leading today. That’s not failure; that’s evolution.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

I support working parents to:

✓ Stay - and negotiate better boundaries

✓ Shift - into a role that fits their life and strengths

✓ Pivot - into a new direction with clarity and confidence

If you’re wondering:

• “Is this a boundary problem or a career problem?”

• “Why do I feel misaligned at work?”

• “What should my next move be?”

Then you’re exactly who I help.

Book a discovery call if you want to explore what healthy, sustainable career clarity looks like for you.

Your career should support your life, not squeeze it.